My Name is AIDS! I have Shawn!

Clever title isn't it?

It was intended only to grab attention. Today, by the grace of divine intervention and the Buddha nature within, I am alive and healthy.

So, correction: my name is Shawn. I have AIDS.

Buddha said it right on when he said that sometimes life sucks, we suffer, hurt. I'm really happy to be alive and able to take care of myself; granted, a lot of people help me along the way. But what I'm especially thankful for on this 21st World AIDS Day, is that I do indeed have AIDS, but, AIDS doesn't have me.

It's been my observation that the tendency to BE one's disease, facilitates an absence of health. Those who identify strongly with illness, seem always to see themselves as ill, even in the face of evidence that suggests otherwise. Consequently, acting the part of a sick person leads to it's own set of problematic issues. This, I think, is very sad.

Having said all that, it may sound contradictory, but I believe we should respect this disease. Buddha taught that all things, including our bodies, are temporary. A perfect bill of health is something we feel entitled to and spend tremendous amounts of time, energy and money in it's pursuit. Yet, the law of impermanence reminds me that, unless I mindlessly step in front of a rapidly moving vehicle, one disease or another will eventually facilitate my grand exit.

With that in mind, and at the risk of appearing psychotic, I've begun talking to the Human Immunodeficiency Virus that live in my body, those clever little bastards who clearly crashed my party and now want to stay.

I used to say all sorts of profanities to them, telling them to "get the fuck out of my body." That didn't work. Now, however, I'm able to use a more loving tone; terms of endearment such as "little bastards" are said in a more gentle way. In fact, sometimes I manage to say "thank you...little bastards." Thanks for reminding me that life in this form is temporary and that identification with my being, rather than my disease, will enable me to enjoy life more fully. And, thanks for showing me that I am not a victim of this circumstance. I have the power to take ridiculously good care of myself or the power to party it up, and (this is the best part) I can enjoy the benefits or consequences of both.

Wow...having done all that, I'm thinking these HIV guys are pretty cool. And, if you'll excuse us, we're going to steep some tea, put on some comfortable cloths and chat.

Good night.